Real Singing Telegrams UK - 02031434302

Now Ezz, I hear you're leaving and so I have to say
That all your friends are going to miss you,
that's why they've sent me here today
So I'll get to the matter in hand
You're the messiest person in the land
And tidy is a word that you don't seem to understand.

And so I'm here to say, now that you're on your way
to Switzerland to start a proper job they say.
You drive around in Alfie, to see all of your mates,
100 miles an hour, you accelerate
but no matter how much you hurry
you always end up late.

You are Erika Masefield from Cannock it's true
You were an only child just mum and dad and you
And your surrogate brother Ben the dog,
who you dressed up in clothes and shared his mealtimes too.
And I know you were an air cadet,
you loved to shoot things this is clear
like you shot your friend Martin with a paintball
in the testicle I hear.

Chorus

I hear you are obsessed with Pizza,
but you never ever seem to share,
You went to freshers parties 5 consecutive years
as uni president you didn't work much I hear
with a cheeky pint at lunchtime,
and water fights in the office it's clear
and once came back from visiting your family
and you had spikey purple hair

And so before I go, Lauren would like you to know
you're the most beautiful girl that she has ever known
she says thanks for sticking by her all this time it's clear
she loves you with all her heart, she's glad that you're a pair
and they're all coming out to Switzerland to visit you next year

And so I wish you good luck Ezz